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The natural world. Looking pretty for 3.5b years.

Obama is the Best on Climate! Oy vey!

Obama is the Best on Climate! Oy vey!

Author: Reilly Capps/Tuesday, September 23, 2014/Categories: humor

[Obama speaking two years ago at the United Nations. Photo by Chuck Kennedy, from Wikicommons.]

 
Some thoughts on President Obama's Climate Speech this afternoon at the UN:

In front of distinguished leaders such as Leonardo DiCaprio, who looked interested, and John Kerry, who looked occupied with his phone -- texting friends, probably: ISIL is tha wurst! -- the president gave one of his most significant speeches in recent years on the subject, which had all the rhetorical flourishes and soaring rhetoric of a fourth-grade book report. 

He dryly listed some of the great things America has done or is doing on the climate: 

-- Higher fuel standards on cars.
-- We've lessened total carbon emissions by more than any other country on earth -- probably, possibly, as long as the calculations on how much methane fracking releases are close to accurate, which they might not be.
-- New standards for reductions in power plant carbon emissions.
-- A pledge to reduce our overall emissions 17 percent by 2020. 

While Obama and his administration has done some things about climate change -- the Republicans have been negatively helpful, perhaps willfully wishing for the destruction of the planet so they don't have to show up to work anymore -- it's not enough.

Obama boasts that he has done more than any president in history to fight climate change.

Surely that's true. But that's only because no one else has done, really, ANYTHING.

So that boast is a little misleading. If you were speaking in 1932, you could say that Herbert Hoover had done more than any other president to combat poverty. He was the Franklin Roosevelt of his day, up until the day he was defeated by Roosevelt.

You could say that Marie Antoinette did more than any other French monarch to help alleviate hunger, because at least she offered them cake.

You could say that Eve (married to Adam) was the most God-fearing human who ever lived, even AFTER she ate the apple. "I'm the best!" she could have said to God, while He was ordering snakes to bite her ankles. "Who's better than me? Nobody! Point to one woman who's better than me!" And God would have had to agree, before smiting some Sodomites and giving some children AIDS.

If Obama is the best on climate, then we need to up our game. Right now, we're playing jayvee ball and we need to play at least varsity -- preferably pro. Optimally we need to invent a whole new game. 

This game could be called "Save Ourselves." First place is a beautiful, green, prosperous future. Second place is a set of steak knives. Third place is you die.

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