Climate change can turn the polar bears brown -- I don't care. It can open up the northwest passage -- I'm landlocked. It can smog up China so bad they're fleeing the mainland like lemmings -- I'm Irish-American, it was potatoes that drove us out.
But when they tell us that climate change threatens our guacamole, that's when I get mad.
Chipotle says that with increased droughts in California and elsewhere, there is a likelihood that the cost of avocados will skyrocket. And it won't pay the difference. Leaving you -- you poor, hot, sucker -- with an un-guacamole'd burrito.
Sour cream won't provide the same texture. Melted cheese tastes too artificial. Guac is unique among foods. A vegetable puree that doesn't taste like the inside of a barn.
So if this doesn't get us off our butts to do something about climate change, nothing will.
As the guac goes, so go all of us.
-- Reilly Capps