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The natural world. Looking pretty for 3.5b years.

My Plan for the Future: Less Gas, Less Whining.

Author: Guest Writer/Sunday, September 30, 2012/Categories: Uncategorized

Dear fringe reactionaries complaining about the EPA’s new fuel standards, which will rise to 55 mpg by 2025,

Stop whining.

You’ll be fine.

The new fuel standards are not “extreme.” They’re good for everybody and everything. Even those of you who think you could never give up your SUV.

Listen: you never needed that tank anyway – or all the tanks of fuel they burned up.

You, in the SUV – your life fits in a Ford Focus. What’s that you say? You like to camp? Please. You camp as often as Rex Ryan visits the salad bar.

And you, suburban pickup truck owners, admit it: you bought a huge truck with a huge bed to compensate for the fact that other parts of your life are so small. Both your beds are perpetually empty.

And you, in that giant Econoline van, you don’t need that hulking mass to haul around your fat gut and your stupid hydraulic ramp for your stupid … wheelchair.

I can see now you’re hauling a wheelchair. My mistake.

Anyway.

Obama rightly ridiculed Romney, the potential Climate-Denier-in-Chief, for his opposition to the new fuel standards, saying: “Maybe the steam engine is more his speed.”

More ridicule is in order. America is pulling so much dead weight.

- Reilly

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