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The natural world. Looking pretty for 3.5b years.

Saudi Arabia Everywhere

Author: Guest Writer/Tuesday, June 26, 2012/Categories: Uncategorized

On a hike yesterday, coated in sweat, my body a salt lick, on a 104 degree day that tied for the hottest temperature ever recorded ever in my city ever -- ever! -- something in me changed.

I knew that heat records are busting. I knew it hasn't rained in months. Fire tore through the West. I could smell it.

I glimpsed, through the shimmering, canyonmiasmic air that rose off hot soil, a vision of the future. I knew I'd have to stop being Reilly of Aurora, Colo., and began to become someone else, someone more prepared for heat. Change how we eat and where we live

The only option I saw was to become a Bedouin. I didn't know how, but I would become impervious to heat, equipped for the hell that's coming. When the trees are all burned and the Rockies melt to dust, I will be a king in the new desert. I will lead camels through LoDo. I will keep slaves in the capital.

But I had to suffer first. We all will.

On that hike, I had been stupid. Unprepared. I neglected to bring water -- the Old Reilly often took short, casual hikes. How could I have known it would be tied for the hottest day in the history of Denver? It was JUNE. August is the hottest month. This heat was out of time and place, like a World Series in February, a moon at midday, like losing a footrace to my grandmother.

JUNE. The hottest day in the history of Denver happened in JUNE.

At that thought -- JUNE!! -- a spell nearly overtook me, and stroke nearly knocked me out. I came in under the shadow of this red rock. red rock I wrapped my face in my t-shirt to keep out the dust and fought on bravely against the heat, down the mountain through the furnace-like air toward the only thing that could save me: a 7-Eleven.

A Slurpee.

With my first sip of Cherry Blast, I was baptized into something new:

Reilly of Saudi Aurora.

It won't be easy. We're not ready for what's to come. First: there aren't camels. Second: We have no Bedouin tents. Third: there's no carbon tax. Fifth: I am still using regular deodorant.

For a while, I'm going to stink. Everything is going to stink.


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