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The natural world. Looking pretty for 3.5b years.

California is So Dry...

California is So Dry...

Author: Reilly Capps/Wednesday, April 8, 2015/Categories: humor

["Death Valley Mesquite Sand Dunes" by Wolfgangbeyer at the German language Wikipedia.]

How dry is California? California is so dry rappers are collecting the champagne they spray on strippers, and reusing it to water their weed. California is so dry the View is collecting Rosie Perez's tears and reusing them for Nicole Wallace's hair gel. California is so dry that R. Kelly is advertising himself on Craigslist as both "Sex Machine" and "Water Fountain." California is so dry that people who used to drink Kool-Aid now just eat the powder, dry. California is so dry cult leaders wanting to bathe their converts in the water of Xenu must now be content with simply taking all their money. California is so dry the Noah's Ark sequel has been canceled and replaced with a story of the Jews in the Desert -- to be filmed in Santa Monica, any day of the week. California is so dry Justin Bieber has been asked to re-fill more janitor's buckets. California is so dry that water bongs must now be filled with salt water, gray water or Sierra Mist (since nobody wants to drink that stuff). California is so dry that it represents a serious environmental crisis made worse by climate change, which threatens our ability to flourish as a species. 







 



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