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The 6 Most Poisonous Animals That I Refuse To Let Bring Me Down

The 6 Most Poisonous Animals That I Refuse To Let Bring Me Down

Author: Lucas Gardner/Monday, January 19, 2015/Categories: marine life, humor

It's hard to believe something as tiny as a frog or a snail could be deadly, but it's true. Some pack so poisonous a punch that they can even kill humans, myself included. And, whatever, I'm not going to let that bother me. They can do whatever they want. Here are the 6 most poisonous animals that I refuse to let bring me down.

1. Poison dart frog

These Central and South American-natives contain, on average, enough poison to kill up to 20 humans. And that's fine. The old me might waste time feeling angry or scared about that, but I've got my own thing going on and I'm not gonna lose sleep over what the poisonous dart frog is up to. I'm over it

2. Box Jellyfish


Humans have a very low risk of surviving a sting from these deadly invertebrates. Personally I HATE drama and I'd prefer not to be associated with the box jellyfish if they're going to spreading that kind of negativity. They can live their lives and I'll live mine, but I wont let them infect me with their bad vibes. I don't have time for that kind of thing.

3. Marbled Cone snail

A single drop of poison from these salt water dwellers is enough to kill you and, most likely, all your living relatives. And it's like, just grow up, marbled cone snail. I'm just a really chill person and I don't like getting caught up in stuff like that. The marbled cone snail can make its own decisions and if it wants to poison a bunch of humans then fine but I am staying out of it.

4. Puffer Fish

One puffer fish has enough toxin to kill up to 30 human beings, but I am not the jealous type. You know what the puffer fish will never experience? Driving a car, or making love to a beautiful woman, or eating a delicious 3-course meal. I'm an adult and I refuse to live a life ruled by envy and fear. So done with “games.”

5. Death Stalker Scorpion

The sting of the death stalker causes excruciating pain followed followed by coma and sometimes death, and honestly I feel bad for them. Like, to have so much hate in your heart - that must be like a prison. I hope the death stalker scorpion realizes that one day and finds peace, but it's not my problem.

6. King Cobra

Okay if I could say one thing to the king cobra I'd say - I know you think that you're the shit because you could kill me without barely trying but the joke is on you because I live in New York City and you're not indigenous here. You probably think you've “won” because you drove me into the city because I'm scared of you, but NEWSFLASH, I didn't. I moved to the city to pursue creative interests, and because I'm scared of you. Do NOT come crying to me when you've alienated everyone else around you by poisoning them and you have nowhere else to turn because I'm NOT getting involved. Have a nice life. Lose my number.


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