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The natural world. Looking pretty for 3.5b years.

What If Alien Life Were Like New Jersey Life?

What If Alien Life Were Like New Jersey Life?

Author: Reilly Capps/Monday, May 12, 2014/Categories: humor

[The above artist's conception is of Kepler 186f, which hopefully has better food than just White Castle. Credit: NASA.]
Our Kepler satellite keeps finding all these planets all over the galaxy -- new ones every day -- but what they're really always looking for is Earth's twin, with the faint hope that we could someday travel there or send some babies there or at least start a nice little pen-pal relationship. But it's got me wondering: is this what we should be looking for? 

Our world has some nice features but it could use some improvement. Seventy percent of it is covered by water, most of the land there is is either frozen or barren. And have you been to New Jersey? North Dakota? The universe can do better. 

As long as we're thinking of moving, let's try to move up. So instead of looking for Earth's twin we need to look for Earth's Better Looking Younger Sibling. Let's try to find a world that's got a little bit more land, a little bit more greenery, maybe with two moons instead of one and lots of waterfalls that flow with strawberry jam. What's that? Strawberry jam isn't an element? There will be no strawberry jam on other planets? 

Ah, let's just stay here, then. 

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