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The natural world. Looking pretty for 3.5b years.

Now They've Done It

Now They've Done It

Climate Change Might Take Away Our Guac

Author: Reilly Capps/Friday, March 7, 2014/Categories: humor

Climate change can turn the polar bears brown -- I don't care. It can open up the northwest passage -- I'm landlocked. It can smog up China so bad they're fleeing the mainland like lemmings -- I'm Irish-American, it was potatoes that drove us out. 

But when they tell us that climate change threatens our guacamole, that's when I get mad. 

Chipotle says that with increased droughts in California and elsewhere, there is a likelihood that the cost of avocados will skyrocket. And it won't pay the difference. Leaving you -- you poor, hot, sucker -- with an un-guacamole'd burrito. 

Sour cream won't provide the same texture. Melted cheese tastes too artificial. Guac is unique among foods. A vegetable puree that doesn't taste like the inside of a barn. 

So if this doesn't get us off our butts to do something about climate change, nothing will. 

As the guac goes, so go all of us. 

-- Reilly Capps 

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