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The natural world. Looking pretty for 3.5b years.

BREAKING: Pat Robertson Says Hurricane Isaac is “God’s Wrath Against Closeted Republicans”

Author: Guest Writer/Sunday, August 26, 2012/Categories: Uncategorized

TAMPA BAY, Florida – Seven years after making a similar pronouncement about Hurricane Katrina, the Rev. Pat Robertson declared that tropical storm Isaac, which is disrupting the Republican convention here, was “God’s wrath” against sinners, specifically the hundreds – if not thousands – of closeted Republicans now descending on Tampa Bay. File:St Pete Times Forum with Garrison Channel.jpg

“The Lord is a loving God,” said Robertson on the Sunday morning edition of his “700 Club” television show. “But He can be vengeful, too. Especially when those He loves go against His commandments.”

The tropical storm disrupting the coronation of Mitt Romney as the Republican nominee, he said, was an example of God’s vengeance against “Republicans who are getting nookie on the down low, marrying just to keep up a facade, or ordering up gay prostitutes more often than they call Dominoes.”

This is not the first time the reverend has connected personal behavior with meteorological events. Robertson stirred up controversy in 2005 when he suggested that Hurricane Katrina was God’s revenge for America’s abortion policy. But he has always had a special animosity for what he considers the sin of homosexuality. And today, he listed just some of the sex scandals that have engulfed Republicans and, he believes, called down the retribution of an angry God.

“I know the list as well as you do. Sen. Craig’s glory hole come-ons, Ted Haggard’s meth-fueled man romps, congressmen sexting with teen pages, old religious dudes taking rent boys to pound town, state reps bribing teenagers to keep a gay affair quiet or paying to blow guys in bathrooms -- the list of depravity from closeted conservatives has not escaped God’s notice,” Robertson said.

Even if Isaac misses this town, meteorologists say, it is still expected to make landfall near New Orleans on the anniversary of Katrina, reminding voters of the fact that a Republican administration bungled the government’s reaction to that storm. The potential damage done to a Republican campaign, Robertson said, was comeuppance.

“Those scandals are just the ones the public knows about,” Robertson said. “I’m inside the Republican tent. I know how packed the closet in there still is. And it’s not just Marcus Bachmann. Eric Cantor wears ass-less chaps! And if you Google Lindsey Graham, Google’s first suggestion is ‘Lindsey Graham gay.’”

File:Lindsey Graham, official Senate photo portrait, 2006.jpg

His remarks today were quickly condemned by prominent Republicans and Democrats as being “hateful,” and they offered other explanations for the hurricane, such as global warming.

Whether global warming is responsible for the past decade’s unusual hurricane pattern is unclear, but a report in the journal Science found that global warming is expected to increase the severity of hurricanes, if not their frequency. “The model projects nearly a doubling of the frequency of category 4 and 5 storms by the end of the 21st century,” the study says. A report in Nature reached similar conclusions. Isaac is expected to make land as a category 2.

Robertson dismissed the scientists’ reports as “crazy,” saying he only believes weather reports that come from Leviticus. For Tuesday in Florida, he predicted that it would rain frogs.

Just for fun, Robertson spent the afternoon watching the following clip titled “Marcus Bachmann: NOT Gay,” while chuckling quietly to himself.

- Written by Reilly Capps


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