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The natural world. Looking pretty for 3.5b years.

It’s Not Getting Hot, It’s Just Getting Comfortable

Author: Guest Writer/Wednesday, January 9, 2013/Categories: Uncategorized

By Reilly Capps

People talk about the U.S. getting hotter, but that’s not the objective truth of it.

The U.S. is just now getting comfortable.

We live in a country where the average temperature is 55, which is too cold for comfort. Humans are happy at 72. Who wouldn’t want the temperature cranked up a notch or two?

2012 was the hottest year in the continental U.S., by a long shot, one degree hotter than the previous hottest year.

Warm is good. Warm means happy.

Given the choice between Cleveland and Miami, folks continually abandon the cold Midwest for the sweltering Sunbelt, and not just LeBron.

[LeBron gets angry thinking about the cold in Cleveland]

Given the choice between snowball fights and wet t-shirt contests, college kids break down south.

It may never be a perfect 72 in this country. But it’s getting there, and Tuesday’s news about 2012 being the hottest year on record is a big step toward that.

So it struck me as incredibly odd that the Fox News website Tuesday made no mention of this record-setting year. On Fox’s paltry “science” section, the main story was about a giant squid. Nor was the second story about the heat. Nor the fiftieth. There was no story on the heat. Meanwhile, on the Huffington Post, the story was played in type so big it was as if we landed on Mars.

It’s beyond odd that something as simple as the reading of a thermometer can be divided down political lines. Heat is heat. It doesn’t favor toward any one party.

But this ought to be noted. It ought to be marked.

Because while heat is good and heat is better than cold the day may be coming when it will be inching past comfortable toward balmy, lurching past lukewarm into sticky.

The country may soon move past the temperature of a cozy cabin with a wood fire toward a hot sauna. There are a great many problems with saunas. First, hairy old men (and women) have no choice but to strip naked to bear it, and have to splay out indecorously.

It may get even hotter than that, someday.

So hot LeBron will ask for a trade back to Cleveland, just for the lake breeze.

So hot Starbucks will boil your coffee by placing mugs in the parking lot.

So hot we will all seek shade under Donald Trump’s comb-over.

So hot the cowboys will ride camels.

So hot the temperature will be impossible to ignore.

[Saunas can be ok, too.]

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